i just can’t believe your gone.

it’s just like, everything that i do, every songs that i listen to, all of it reminds me of you.

i’m currently listening to “Mad” by Ne-Yo. and i remember your expression when you told me how nice this song was when we were in your car.

just like what my sister said just now, it’s too hard for me to accept all these. and the letter i’m writing specially to you. it’ll take me some times to complete it, because there’re too many things to be said.

i got no mood to do anything. but i shall go and pack my things because i’ll be leaving again to kampar tomorrow.

nite nite.

updated at 11.40pm

finished packed and i don’t feel like sleeping. and my eye bags are getting bigger, shit!

i’m watching sailormoon while i’m typing this. it’s like i’d gone back to those childhood time where i’ll spend my afternoon time watching all the cartoons. lolz.

kelvin asked whether i’m getting better already. i said it’ll take times. and yea of course, i’m getting better already, but i just miss her.

and i miss the boyfriend too.

i didn’t come here to hold you, now i can’t stop.

i’m at penang now.

and you know how much penang reminds me of you my dear.

i don’t know how am i going to tell others about you, but i promise i’ll try my best because i’m your best friend right? and i hope you’ll be glad that it’ll be me who is going to give that short speech.

i cycled to your house that day, nothing seems different but there’s just something missing there. and i shall see those places that we went together before on tuesday.

it’s time for dinner. will write a proper update soon.

take care.

in my heart there always be a place for you, for all my life.

we were sitting inside my room. my playlist was randomly playing some songs, and we were chatting. until the song “There You’ll Be” by Faith Hill played by my laptop, you told me that it was your theme song, and you just loved that song so much.

now, it will be our theme song. it will the song which remind me of you, and the song i want to dedicate to you, me dearest friend.

still i’ll give the whole world to see your face

when i woke up in the morning, i thought i can finally be fine already.

at least, i’d accept the truth.

but no, until i saw today’s newspaper.

your picture is on cover page.

you’re there smiling at me, but i can’t smile back at you, because my tears kept on coming down.

how can i believe you’re now gone when you’re just right there smiling at me?..

and i know, i believe that you can be on the newspaper, but not in this way.

the moment when i wake up from my sleep, it’s just like i’m going through the whole thing again. it’s so hard for me to believe that that’s the truth.

kelly, i miss you so much.

i don’t know whether i can take it a not on wednesday when i get to see you again. but i want to be there, i want to see you again.

it’s just tomorrow, and i shall wait patiently, until the moment we meet each other again.

p.s. and i just realized that we had pictures taken by your phone which you forgot to send to me and kweng.

let’s sail away and meet forever baby

my mind couldn’t function already.

there’re too many things to say.

weikang knew what happened to you already. it was a total heartbreak for him. but you know, he’s a man, he will be fine. he was just sad that he couldn’t come back to see you for the very last time. i know you’ll know, how much he miss you and how sorry he’s that he couldn’t come back from taiwan.

i’m trying my very best not to break down. but every time when i open those news’ pages, i’ll see your picture. and you’re smiling at me, that sweet smile which caught everyone’s heart. everyone is asking me to be strong, and i really do appreciate it, but i just can’t stay strong now, it’s more like am i hanging on nowhere.

you know i miss you so much right? and it is making me fall sick. i just wish you can come back and buy me medicine like what you always did.